Be Mine


don’t sit around & cry over it, dedicate the day to YOU!

Rather than waste your time, energy and emotion on focusing what you do not have (in this case, somebody to love) this Valentine’s Day pledge to love yourself.

Valentine’s Day may be the ultimate Hallmark Holiday, but it seems to me that many people let it get to them a great deal more than it should- either with ridiculously high expectations, or a profound hatred for the day, which everyone attributes to said person being bitter and alone, anyways.

 The point being, take a moment to imagine the sheer amount of energy that goes into V-Day, it must be phenomenal!   Think of the time and energy wasted by how many millions who spend the day wallowing in their miserable solitude. Think of all that could have been accomplished instead!!!

An absolutely unbelievable amount of time, money and energy are spent on Valentine’s Day.. all in the name of love and romance.  It seems the obvious must be stated here; a significant other should love and romance you every. damn. day. if they want to stay significant for very long!!!

Of course, it is lovely to have a special day to make a fuss of your lover, and show them just how much they really mean to you. That’s the key word here, really, its like Valentines day is some kind of level-up love competition, where everyone tries to outdo everyone else just to PROVE their love. Its ridiculous, and for those forever alone-rs (you aren’t actually) it gets depressing to hear about the fabulous ways everyone else is celebrating their love.  It’s easy to fall back into the mantra of “oh poor me” when you hear about all those lovely things everyone else is getting, but what you must remember is that comparison is the thief of joy.

Why does one day have the power to send so many into pieces?  Would I be miserable on Christmas if I was not a Christian? No. So why are so many miserable on Valentine’s because they have no Valentine? Perhaps because it feels so isolated and exclusionary; you are alone, and this reflects as your personal failure as a human being.  This feeling goes way back down to the basic biology of it- you’ve failed to find a mate, you’ve failed to propagate the species, you’ve failed to carry on you’re genetic line. You may think it’s not that simple, but I assure you, it is; a biological urge drives each one of us to seek out a suitable life partner. However in seeking our better half, we very often forget that the other half, our self, is even more important. We are stuck in the belief that being alone on Valentine’s Day reflects as a personal failure, when this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

quotes, love, true love, self, worth, find, heart, handwritten, note

Obviously this idea has been on my mind lately, I wrote this (and posted on my instagram @aiyanajanee) back in January.

oscar wilde quote love alone

Take a good hard look at yourself- recognize and accept what you cannot change, strive to grow anywhere you can, and find the strength to let go of the people or things that give nothing back. Have the strength to be certain of your worth, be clear about the treatment you expect and deserve, and do not accept being treated badly.

Every moment in life is a choice, many of them are unconscious decisions we make as creatures of habit.  Become conscious of the choices you’ve made to get you where you are. Are you happy here? If the answer to that is truly no, then you are the only one person in the universe with the power to change that.

Happiness is perception, comparison is the thief of joy and awareness is the only way to change perception.

So stop looking and looking for that “better half” hoping to find them and live a fairy-tale life  instead, search for your own happy ending, your fairy-tale, and you’ll find the prince somewhere along the way.

lots of love, xo aiyana jane

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