recovery – one year

cs lewis

One year ago today I woke up planning on catching one of my favourite bands (Mother, Mother) at Stampede… instead I wound up in the hospital with a broken pelvis.  It was just one of the many struggles I have had to over-come in this last year-or-so period of my life.. basically ever since I started the blog (when I got laid-off from my long time retail-manager position) things have been constantly crazy and changing.  I can only hope they keep changing, because as hard as this last year has been, I have grown so much, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

july 15, 2012 –  the nurses let me have Finley for comfort ❤

I am thankful for the blog and the support I have received here as well, it has made this year much better for me! Its really interesting to me to see what I wrote, where I was mentally exactly a year ago, so if nothing less the blog has provided an excellent diary.

I have always known that following my passion for riding could result in a serious injury. There is risk to everything in life, but if the reward is greater then to me, you must always risk it. Life is not worth living if you live it afraid. I am not afraid, I am not angry, I accept this and I am thankful for all I have, because I know how much I could have lost.

To all my family, to all my friends, thank you for you’re love and support. Remember that life is worth nothing if you risk nothing, because then you never reap the rewards. I won’t feel fully healed until I can be back on my horse galloping across my land with the wind in my hair because for me, there is nothing in life better than the freedom I feel on the back of my horse, and there is nothing in life that will stop me from going after that.

Pretty optimistic right?  Read the full (aka super-long) story of my accident here.

These two girls have been my best friends since elementary.  I will forever appreciate that it was these two who were there for me at the time and in the days to come following my accident.

the kind of friendship where time and distance come between, but nothing ever really changes

..and they are responsible for the best thing that has happened to me last year, Cedric Diggory!!

Cedric Diggory 16

There is really nothing in the world that makes me happier than animals, talk about creature comforts!

Of course, the best part of it being a year later is that I have been back riding my beautiful horses!

Wild hearts can’t be broken..

xo, aiyanajane

Calgary floods

Its been difficult to get new photos lately due to the fact its been raining for weeks (I’ve been super busy too) I missed most of it while gallivanting in beautiful Denmark, but this last week has been rather damp. I don’t mind, I love the water, love the rain, but it can stop anytime now. If you haven’t heard Calgary is underwater- at least the neighborhoods close to either of the two rivers that run though the city. Normally I complain about how much I miss living in Mission, by the Elbow River, but I’m glad I live on a hill now! I went for a run tonight despite the rain (there’s a trail that overlooks the river) and saw the flooding for myself. Bowness and Montgomery, the area behind me in both shots, are flooded. The water has risen at least 10 feet I would say, its nearly touching the bottom of this bridge I’m standing on, the homes behind me are flooded, and the water is still rising. There is widespread flooding and residents are being evacuated in Calgary, Canmore and High River. I feel terrible for the thousands of people who are out of their homes, and the millions of dollar in damage. At this point though, I kinda wish the law firm I worked for was downtown so I could have the time off work! (I’m kidding, because it would actually be a giant pain and I like my job!)

Keep Calgary in your thoughts and let me know which outfit you prefer, click to to see the full posts, and leave your vote below for your favourite!\

IMG_2868

on a normal spring day, the river is full but safe,  by June 21, 2013, flood water has risen and is nearly touching the bottom of the bridges.

bowness

full post – animal insticts

IMG_2762

flooding in Montgomery and Bowness is extensive, water has risen to the level of the bridges, leaving tree and rooftops tops poking out of rushing water

bowness

Edgy animal print or sweet white lace, which style do you prefer? Thanks for reading,

xo, aiyanajane

 

laser cut florals

balance beam cute romper geometric ruffle blouse and laser cut shorts kick  up your heels laser cut silk shorts long hair, dont care stop and smell the flowers sunshine in the garden the sun lives up there walk on the wild side zipper ruffle detailplatform leather pumps by Le Chateau  ||  sunnies by Ardene ||  h.i.p. shorts via Winners ||  top via R.A. Clothing   

Wanna know a not-so-secret-secret?  High waist anything is my jam – but especially shorts!  These ones are the best ones ever because they are a soft silk and have the cutest laser cut floral detail on the bottom.  Laser-cutting is one of my favourite spring trends, on these shorts it looks kind of like lace and kind of like a scalloped hem, and that’s kind of perfect.  I am such a girly-girl at heart, give me ruffles and florals and silk and high heels and I will be happy as a clam. A little bit of edgy detail (like the zipper back of this blouse) add’s just enough sass to an otherwise sweet outfit.  I love how when paired together the shorts with this breezy graphic blouse looks like a romper!  (Another summer trend I love.) I bought this top ages ago and just noticed today it’s getting rather worn out.. Its from one of my favourite local boutiques back in Calgary, click the link above or stop by if you are shopping on 17th! They always have amazing selection (and great designer denim) and the staff are super sweet.  I’ll be heading back there when I return to #yyc to see if I can find another equally awesome top. 

Speaking of perfect things that I love, summer here in Denmark is spectacularly beautiful, mostly because there are flowers and trees absolutely everywhere you turn!  I must stop blogging (I’m such night owl) and get my beauty sleep for another full day tomorrow!  

xo, aiyanajane

click the photo to follow @aiyanajanee on instagram 

camouflage & coral

blush tones and camoflage on city style country smile

||  coral burnout tee  by element  ||  bralet by free people  ||  camo denim by g21  || aviators by ardenes  || shoes by le chateau  || bag by co-lab  || feather necklace by silla designs  ||

Camouflage jeans have been on my must-buy list for ages, I mentioned before here that I was searching for the perfect pair.  Camo is one of those prints I come back to every few years and right now I am having a major moment with it.  I was in Walmart a couple weeks ago getting my chocolate fix for cheap and spotted these… I actually couldn’t believe it.  I had tried on a current elliot pair and here these were- fitting better for exponentially cheaper ($200 CE v. $20 G21).

I also mentioned my latest love affair with coral (and over-sized tops) here – this burnout tee from element fits the bill perfectly.  The blush tone looks so lovely against tan skin, layered over a sweet lace bralet for an effortless and comfortable look.  An over-sized tee is absolutely essential for summer, just grab one a couple sizes up from your usual – the color of this one was too perfect to resist, so it didn’t matter that they only had medium left.  I love the burnout and the little pocket detail – element is one of my favourite brands for basic tee’s and hoodies.

I kept everything pretty simple here- sometimes the best outfits are the easiest!  Simple gold jewelry and nude accessories let the camo stay in the spotlight. (Even though that’s exactly the opposite of camo’s original purpose!)  I find it interesting how much of my favourite women’s fashion is based off of typically manly things- the military, the navy, the boyfriend jeans or blazer.  Boys just get all the fun!   Fortunately with this whole equality thing, now girls can jack their style and rock it better than any boy I know!

Hope you girls (and boys) have a wonderful weekend! Happy Friday!

xo, aiyanajane

following on instagram? why not?! just click here

au naturel

summer essentials - la mer watch, aviators, lace, leopard and boyfriend jeans


|| boyfriend jeans by mavi  || leopard heels, fur trim vest, cardigan, green lace top by le chateau  ||  beach stone wrap watch by la mer ||  cross body bag by co-lab  ||  white lace top, floral bustier by sirens ||

If there is one thing I believe in with my whole heart, its that nature has already provided everything we could ever need.  For this outfit I put together all different natural elements – fur, leather, stones, floral, pony hair and leopard print.  In general, I figure if it happens naturally, you can’t really go too far wrong! What do you think?

I’m still really loving these boyfriend jeans. Part of me wants to DIY destroy them but I can’t bring myself to do it because the wash is so nice and they’re such great quality- I think I’ll let them wear out naturally a bit. These are a more polished take on boyfriend denim than a destroyed pair so I can get away with wearing them to the office – I love how cuffed denim perfectly showcases a great pair of shoes, and these are my go-to heels for day or night.

Speaking of go-to, lately I have been layering this vest over everything!  I just love how it pairs with almost anything, the pretty lace and fur trim take the olive green knit up a notch.  The weather in Calgary is so temperamental – easy layering pieces are absolutely essential – a thin cardigan and a vest are just enough to add enough warmth to the cold mornings.  Underneath I wore a floral bustier – another total spring/summer essential, and layered two different lace tops over it- an olive green one under white.  I love the how delicate the lace looks over the floral.

I’m still really stoked about winning this La Mer watch for earth day- as a big fan of the earth (and the brand) I built this outfit around this watch. Usually when I get dressed I pick a single piece to base my outfit around, I love the soft sage leather with the stones and gold – its just so naturally pretty.

“The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.”
–  Yves Saint Laurent

I really believe in embracing your natural beauty – if you see photo’s on the blog where I am wearing sunglasses it usually means I am wearing zero makeup.  I don’t usually wear much makeup, especially not to work when I have to be staring at a computer screen all day.  I really wish more girls were comfortable with going out without makeup- the most unfortunate lie we let ourselves believe as girls, is that we need makeup to make us attractive.  

Accept yourself- it’s the most beautiful thing you can ever do. Find your passions, follow your heart and fight for your convictions.  Do not live your life according to the standards of anyone but yourself, and do not let hardships break you. And always remember, a smile is the most beautiful makeup a girl can wear.

xo, aiyanajane

@aiyanajanee || follow on instagram

Mother’s Day – DIY

Mothers Day Gifts - DIY, cheap and easyDIY MOTHERS DAY 2HOW TO TIE BOWSSo Mother’s Day is on Sunday… which is like 4 days away. I have been so busy lately I have barely given in a second thought.  If you are in the same boat, fortunately this DIY is cheap, fast and easy!  It’s actually what I gave my mom last year, click here for how to make your own.

I think the reason I am a loyal DIYer is because my mom always did crafts with me.  She’s big on DIY too – in fact, she bought these mirror candle holders from Pier One and they were black, but she painted them white and green to match the living room.  I painted the candles teal because like I said before, its my favourite color.  My mom know’s I’m obsessed with teal so she doesn’t mind, its better than when I made her repaint my room to a bright teal.

These look so pretty at night reflecting in our living room. The lights just dance through the lace.  I love this DIY, hope you guys do too!

xo, aiyanajane

DIY SHORTS INSPO

Stars, Lace, Tribal, Polka Dot

Lately I have been craving summer like you wouldn’t believe. Probably because its nearly half way through April and I had to brush 3 inches of snow off my car this morning. This needs to stop… I am dreaming of shorts… In the mean time a few styles I am eager to re-create. Since I have been focusing on a healthier lifestyle I have several pairs of jeans just begging to be refashioned into shorts. Maybe its just me but I loathe shorts that are too tight, I often will buy up a size just because of that, so too-big skinny jeans shall be chopped and re-modeled. SOON. Unfortunately my supplies are else where but I am going to rectify that situation promptly.

Which style are you most interested to see a DIY for!? Let me know in the comments below! Thanks for reading!

XO, aiyanajane

casual camoflage

camo print leggings and an oversized henley

A little bit inspired by St. Patrick’s Day, but more because it finally started to feel like spring is in the air! I paired two of the greatest prints and  the biggest trends coming up for spring -floral and camouflage.camo leggings and floral bralet, billabong henley, le chateau owl necklace, leather cuff and lace vest, aldo rings and bangles Lately I’ve been embracing my inner hippie with a feather earring worn in the my conch.  I cannot wait to have the long hippie hair to go with it! Over-sized sunglasses, an adorable little owl pendant, and a knock-off Hermes studded cuff, all available at le chateau. The rest of the accessories (other than the vintage wooden bangle) “love” thumb ring, open head-to-head skull ring, and gold studded stretch bangle are all available at aldo.

conch wooden feather earring, love ring, and hermes leather cuffI love camo print, mostly because I’m a big green fan, but it also just gives that casual cool touch to an outfit. I had a dope pair of camo shorts that I donated a little while back just because I had them for so long.. then naturally, camo starts appearing everywhere! I have been searching for the perfect fitting pair of camo skinny jeans that don’t break the bank. I fell in love with this current elliott pair, but not the $198 price tag.  So the search for the perfect camo pant continues, meanwhile I couldn’t resist these $7 leggings from Sirens to embrace the trend a little without busting the college student budget!casual camoflageFloral, an annual spring trend, has been my BFF forever- I’m a girly girl at heart when it comes to clothes! The bustier is also from Sirens, retailing at a whopping $12 – it adds just a touch of print and the tiny floral print is unobtrusive enough to mix with the bold camo print.head to toe details - floral bralet and camo leggings by sirens, rings by aldo, jewelery and vest by le chateau, henly by billabongOn top I wore this Billabong Henley  its one of my favourite shirts because its honestly as comfortable as pajamas and its such a pretty, subtle shade of green. I bought it in extra-large so that I could get away with wearing it with leggings. I love buying over-sized tops, although I have to admit, I toe the line a bit when it comes to the leggings-are-not-pants rule. To add some shape to the over-sized top, and visually elongate the look, I layered a black cotton and lace vest from le chateau over top. That baby cost me a total of $5 so I keep it even though I only wear it once in a blue moon.

lace trim vest, black leather ankle boots

The ankle boots are from le chateau as well, old season.  The day after I took these my roomie brought home the most beautiful over the knee boots that would have been perfect! Thankfully we have the same sized feet so I promise you’ll be seeing them soon!Sunglasses and feather earring by le chateau

when mixing prints remember the   MAJOR/minor  mix rule

A major print – something that can be seen at a distance, pairs best with a minor print- something that is only noticeably printed when viewed close up.

which SPRING TRENDS are you most excited to try?

let me know in the comments , and be sure to leave  a link to your blog as well, I love discovering new blogs to follow!

XO aiyanajane

Thrift Store Find: Tailored Blazer

navy blazer with dark denim and grey for a perfect casual friday

thrift store finds - structured navy blazer

BLAZER by DERETA LONDON ||  BLOUSE by SMARTSET  || SUNNIES by ARDENE  ||  BEANIE + CLUTCH + SHOES by LeCHATEAU  ||  DENIM by BLUENOTES || ACCESSORIES by ALDO

One thing you may know about me by now is that I cannot resist a good deal- its why I love thrifting so much! My mother always said I could pick out the most expensive item in the store the moment I walk in- it’s this eye for the expensive (read: quality) that aides in my constant search for thrift store deals. This navy blazer jumped out at me immediately- the tailoring and the stitching are impeccable. I firmly believe that when you find something at a thrift store that is clearly good quality AND fits like a glove, that it’s a divine sign that you obviously NEED to buy that item. For me, $6.99 for a blazer that fit in all the right places was much too lovely of a deal to pass up!

xo, aiyanajane

instaUPDATE – photoshoot edition

So even though I complained about it constantly, I never actually explained how I got sick! I was outside for quite a while on a chillier than anticipated day helping with this shoot, good thing the photos turned out so nice or I would have been even more miserable about it. Moral of the story, don’t wear low rider chucks without socks when going to the mountains in February. DERP. I blame not knowing where the location was but really its just that I hate socks  >.< 

 Last Sunday I helped out my beautiful and talented (hairstylist and makeup artist) friend Kay-lee with a “gothic teaparty” concept shoot.. Every time I chill with her the urge to dye my hair blue grows!! Anyways, even though its a bit out of touch with my usual style I had a blast styling and working with her and the team! 

pre-shoot prep spray painting props || yeah, we did it inside.. it was fumetastic

did we just become best friends!? YUP || on the way to our location

not nearly warm enough even wearing an extra over coat. ||

in between takes || get your coats girls its a bit nippley out || gothic teaparty

slightly warmer || still freezing cold || still smiling

pro shot || anthony yuen photo || calgary

cara mae || photo – anthony yuen|| makeup – kaylee pearce || 

sarah ramen || photo – anothony yuen || makeup – kaylee pearce ||

mackenzie || photo – anthony yuen || makeup – kaylee pearce || styling aiyanajane

a beautiful creative team || gothic teaparty || cara mae || sarah ramen || kaylee snow || aiyana jane || mackenzie || anthony yuen

Even though it ended in me being sick for a week and counting, I had a lovely time working with this amazing group!! For hair styling and makeup artistry be sure to check out the lovely and talented kaylee pearce on her youtube channel or her facebook page. As well, for more great photos, be sure to check out Anthony Yuen on facebook!

layering ideas COBALT & COGNAC

 

winter layers, leather, fur and knits

Winter in Calgary means lots and lots and LOTS of layers, but you don`t have to look like a bag lady!  My current favourite layering piece is the knit vest trimmed with faux-fur and lace.. it hits the fur trend without being over the top and adds much needed warmth on a chilly day. Layer a vest over a leather jacket to stay warm, or over a cardigan when the sun decides to make an appearance. To make a layered look successful emphasize the natural waist, mix colors, textures and prints but keep a tonal color scheme in mind. I chose my outfit around 2 key pieces, the cobalt blouse and the leather braided belt, sticking with shades of brown and blue (much like the Alberta landscape) for a perfectly put together look. To add to the slightly boho feel I wore a single feather earring instead of my usual conch jewelry, and a vintage wooden bangle, along with the on-trend studded leather cuff.

WHAT I WORE || chiffon top – H&M  || leather jacket, fur trim vest, cardigan, pants, belt, studded leather cuff, feather earring, sunnies- LE CHATEAU || boots – JESSICA SIMPSON via VICTORIA’S SECRET online || 

My beautiful cousin and fellow blogger sent me the top for Christmas (along with some other goodies) and I’ve been wanting to wear it ever since. The bright cobalt blue is my absolute favourite color, she’s the sweetest.. be sure to check out her blog, but download google chrome first so you can translate the Danish! I bought the multi-color braided leather belt the other day and knew that I had to pair the two together, everything else is old season, check out the le chateau outlet for tons of chic steals.

be a savvy shopper and save

one of the very best ways to EVOLVE YOUR PERSONAL STYLE is to constantly be trying different things on.

The best way to find what works and what doesn’t is simply to TRY IT! Its not like you have an obligation to buy, and there’s no need to feel bad or silly if something looks terrible, so next time you feel the need to shop (but maybe you don’t actually need anything) go on a “scouting mission” and try on whatever tickles your fancy, but leave your wallet at home. You’ll get an idea of styles, trends and the shapes that work on your body shape, without feeling stressed about making a decision to buy. Take pictures if you aren’t sure, then ask for a friends opinion, or if you love it, take a photo so you know what to go back for! If you find that once you’ve gone home there is a certain piece that you can’t get out of your mind, then go back, at that point, you KNOW you want it, and why not? You put a real EFFORT into finding that perfect item, the least you can do is reward yourself by adding it to your collection, right?!

I like to shop all the time.. this is not budget friendly.

Often I go into stores and try an absolute ton of clothes on but purchase nothing. (Be nice to store employees and the clothes, hang them back up after you’ve tried them on! Respect goes a long way.) To keep my shopping in check, I make mental lists of items I want to add to my wardrobe, whether trendy pieces I want to try (like a crop top), or classic staples I need to upgrade (like a LBD) I have an idea of a few items I want to add, and try not to stray too far from the list. By shopping at different stores in search of a certain piece you also will be able to more easily compare fit, quality and prices and then find the best deal. 

I had some time to kill yesterday, so I hit the Winners in Westhills/Signal Hill, Calgary. In my opinion, its one of the very best winners in terms of great product, and I have been to a lot of them! I went there with the PROMISE that I would not purchase a single thing -simply look- as a few unexpected expenses popped up recently and I absolutely cannot justify adding more to my exploding closet right now (well I could, but I literally just have no cash to buy things at this point..)

There are so many amazing denim trends right now I just want to try them all!!

 I found a ton of items yesterday at Winners that were on my mental shopping list, including coated oxblood, grey snake print, and mint skinnies, as well as the most beautiful pair of gold metallic skinny Buffalo David Bitton Jeans, for only $29.99!  I also tried this chunky off white sweater with the most darling lace heart appliques, a fuzzy black sweater trimmed with gold chains, a lovely tonal aqua chiffon blouse and these irresistible little silk cut out shorts (which for only $10, I had to cheat and buy).

What I love most about the Westhills Winners, is their purse selection!

I have bought countless bags there over the years, and right now they seem to have a particularly good selection. Honestly, if you haven`t been to Winners before, you should really go. Its probably my favourite store.

purses

My four favourites – 1. Linea Pelle Collection- Dylan $245.00 regular $185.00 sale   2. Steve Madden studded tote $118.00 regular $69.99 sale  3. Olivia & Joy forest green messenger back with chain strap $89.00 regular $39.99 sale  4. Alberto de Canino white leather envelope clutch with tassels $110.00 regular $44.00 sale. I so badly wanted the coral tote, the leather was SUCH great quality and it has the cutest zebra print lining. You guys should be proud, I walked away.

The only problem with shopping sans-wallet at Winners is that you can almost be certain that if you go back, unless its the very next day, its likely already gone. If I wasn’t on a student budget, the burgundy and the gold skinnies would be mine, as would the mint top, the heart sweater, the coral bag and the white clutch. It seems like whenever you go out intending to buy nothing that you find all the best things!

I couldn’t resist the little cut out shorts (I mean for $10!!!), so I continue to have an unresolved spending problem, but at least I look good doing it! I also exchanged a scarf I was given for Christmas that turned out to be stained and picked out this beautiful cream infinity cowl from Purr, with Calgary locations in Kensington, 17th Avenue and The Core Downtown. I love it, infinity scarves are my go to and I realized at the beginning of winter that I must have lost my old white one, so I’m thrilled to have scored such an upgrade.

infinity scarf, cowl, white, knit

xo, a

Happy New Year

I ended 2012 on a high note, & started 2013 in style rocking these HOT PINK SHORTS!

city style high waist pink shorts black lace and tights

top, tights, boots – le chateau  * shorts – finders keepers

Something about a new years outfit is always extra special, and I was SO excited to finally wear these shorts. I found them online browsing sometime in the beginning of 2012, and immediately added them to my wishlist. I often online shop if I cant afford to shop for real by wishlisting every lust worthy item I find and then slowly narrowing them out until I decide to order. The second I saw them, I NEEDED THEM, they had everything I wanted in a pair of shorts, everything. But they were listed at something ridiculous like $130.. no thank you. Fast forward a few months and I revisited my favourite online shopping site misskl.com (the ladies version of karmaloop) and lo and behold, the shorts popped up again, only this time, they were on sale! I ordered without another moments hesitation and threw in a pair of converse that were on for half off just to make shipping worth my while… it seems a waste to only ship ONE thing, right? Including shipping, the shorts and the sneakers my total bill was ~$70. Not bad considering regular price converse are $65 ..you just can’t say no to savings like that, especially since you don’t even need to leave the comfort of your couch to get it! At least I certainly can’t.

converse low tops blue super low riders baby weiner dog puppy chewing sneakers

Online shopping is always a bit of a roll of the dice, and high waist shorts can be difficult to fit at the best of times.. but sometimes you get lucky, my goodies arrived (shipping was quite quick, less than a week!) and they fit perfectly. I love karmaloop, if you’ve never shopped with them, try it out. Every time I’ve ordered shipping has been fast – less than 2 weeks for regular post (and often free with special discount codes), I like ordering online as well because its SO easy to save money by shopping clearance sections and looking for extra discount codes. They sell many quality brands for WAY less than retail price, the first thing I ordered was a matt + nat bag that was 75% off!!

Last night was an amazing night for me, not just because I had amazing shorts, and not because of any particular excitement over the venue, but because I spent it with a boy who is stealing my heart.

I said before, 2012 was the most challenging year of my life but I go forward to 2013 with hope. The lesson that kept coming up last year, the solution to all of my problems, was to follow my heart and face adversity with love, rather than anger. When I was laid off it was the push I needed to actually go back to school and find a “career”, it also got me blogging, which got me writing regularly- my true passion. When I broke my pelvis it brought me closer to my family, needing them for everything after being self reliant for the past 4 years. When my ex cheated on me it gave me reason to leave without ever having to question my decision- I clung to our relationship for a long time, how to let go of that first love? They say love is blind and its truly the only explanation for me overlooking all his shortcomings- I loved him, and I hoped through our entire relationship that one day he might grow up and learn respect, but in truth though I was blinded by the flash of first love, tethered by past history and didn’t realize until after we broke up how incredible manipulative and truly thoughtless he really was.

It is one thing to say face adversity with love over anger, but quiet another to be able to do so.

I have never been one to let go of anger, I struggle every day trying to quiet the rage inside of me. Its not even that I am angry with individual people, more so, I am angry at humanity collectively for all of our failings. I struggle every day to let go of my anger and move forward with love. There are so many reasons in the world to be angry, but the anger that is the most crippling is the pain of betrayal at the hands of a loved one. There are a million injustices in the world but hurt caused by someone you love and trust is the kind that breeds a deep anger I still have not learned to let go of. Forgive and forget is impossible for me, there are things that happened to me years ago that I am still angry about. Some things are unforgivable, and some wrongs will never be forgotten, but what I realized in 2012 is that maybe its okay that I can’t forgive, its okay to stand up and say I DESERVED BETTER, and then walk away. Last year I walked away from my first love and a very close friend. There will always be a hole in my heart where they used to fit, but I realized with both of them that I was clinging to the relationship because of who I wished they COULD be.  I had to let go when I realized that the patterns of abuse were unchanging and that neither of them would ever treat me with the respect I deserve.

When you trust someone with your heart, you give them the most important part of you.

I was afraid to trust another man with my heart after the first so blatantly took it for granted, I tried to keep my distance and planned to stay single for quite a while, but life very rarely goes according to my plans. Despite my attempts to guard my heart, I found myself with someone who was actually willing to put in an effort, who seemed to actually care, and who was actually interested in me as a person. (Honestly I cannot stress how low the bar was set in my last relationship, that all three of those aspects were lacking..) Despite my trepidation, my hesitation and attempts to play it cool I failed in the best way possible and completely fell for him.

     quote life isnt complicated find what you love sons of anarchy gemma teller quote lovezooey dechanel quote love heart fear

In 2012 I realized I deserved love, not the shallow impression I had of it but real love, characterized by mutual respect and adoration. A midnight kiss and a few whispered words usher in new hope this new years.

WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE

I hope 2013 brings new beginnings and hope for each of you. Fill the upcoming year with love and let go of past pain. You deserve it.

love, aiyana

Sweater Weather

SWEATER WEATHER by the neighbourhood

is the soundtrack to my life lately, I can’t stop listening to it! Check out the inspiration for this post here. Maybe because it is most certainly sweater weather here in Calgary, maybe just because its an awesome track, either way it makes me happy.

winter fashion, boots, vest, sweater dress

This sweater is one of my favourites to dress up and down, yesterday I was fancy, today I went more casual layering a green tank dress underneath (here) grey boots (here) with a leather jacket (here) and a fur trimmed vest layered over top. I bought the vest from le chateau last year when fur vests were all the rage, I like a little fur, but its a difficult trend to embrace without looking 20lbs heavier or like a gangsta rap maven, so rather than go for a fully fur vest I compromised with this cable knit vest trimmed with fur and lace, its one of my favourite layering pieces! You will be twice as warm and twice as cute with a vest over a jacket!

keep warm this weekend!

xo, aiyana

Leather & Gold

 

The holidays are full of occasions to play dress up- stay warm and look cool in leather, cream and gold. I’m so excited to finally be wearing this pleated faux-leather skirt I picked up months ago!! Its such an adorable and affordable alternative to the alica + olivia mini I was drooling over!

leather skirt, cream sweater, gold, studs, infinity scarf, pearls, fall fashion

Boots – Aldo //  Skirt – XXI Forever // Kismet Sweater – Below the Belt // Michael Kors Handbag, Silk Camisole (worn underneath) – Trends Fashions Kensington // Infinity Scarf – Merle Norman  // All Accessories – le chateau

I’m also excited to be wearing these studded leather cuff’s I just picked up, the day after I bought them, I read a post from one of favorite bloggers, featuring the same bracelet in black- see hers here, I guess great minds do think alike! red lipstain

Something about winter and the holiday season just begs for rosey cheeks and red lips, don’t you think?

xo, aiyana